Ho'oponopono

Simple Steps to Healing: Ho'oponopono
by Dr. Joe Vitale

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients – without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved. When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend.

How could anyone heal someone else by healing himself? 

How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story. However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't get it out of my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal. "After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely," he told me. "Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed."

I was in awe. "Not only that," he went on, "but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work." This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: "What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?"

"I was simply healing the part of me that created them," he said. 

 I didn't understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life – is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy – anything you experience and don't like – is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you. I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho'oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone – even a mentally ill criminal – you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files? "I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again," he explained. That's it?

That's it. Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world. Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, "I'm sorry" and "I love you." I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying "I love you," I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

In short, Dr. Len says there is no out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you.

And when you look, do it with love.

Dr. Len's message may be quite hard to believe, yet it's amazingly simple. He states that we are all responsible for everything that we see in our world. By taking full personal responsibility and then healing the wounded places within ourselves, we can literally heal ourselves and our world. Dr. Len suggests a four-stage process for this ho'oponopono work. Whenever a place for healing presents itself in your life, open to the place where the hurt resides within you. After identifying this place, with as much feeling as you can, say the below four statements:

• I love you.
• I'm sorry.
• Please forgive me.
• Thank you.

Thanks for taking the time to read this story and may your life open to ever more healing and miracles. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

Note: This article on ho'oponopono is edited from the book Zero Limits by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Len. You can listen to Joe talk about his experience with Dr. Len and ho'oponopono along with his involvement with the inspiring movie, The Secret, on News for the Soul by clicking here. He starts talking about Dr. Len and ho'oponopono at minute 15 in this highly engaging one-hour interview.

For several inspiring articles on the ho'oponopono process, click on the "Articles" tag at the website,http://www.self-i-dentity-through-hooponopono.com. Even if you are skeptical, consider giving this simple healing method a try to see what happens. Many have found it to be incredibly profound in their lives. And for a powerful online lesson which brings this all home, click here.

Overwhelmed by Life?

Life Coaching may be your answer!

What is Life Coaching?

Life Coaching is a modern method of self-development that works with the conscious mind to help you map out what you want out of life.  Just like in sports, a coach can see the whole game, while the player is making the individual moves.  This dynamic allows for great forward movement and create an action plan of changing what doesn't work and increasing what does.   

What can I expect to work on with a Life Coach?

Life continuously provides us with information and messages.  When we do not listen, the messages often turn into problems.  When we do not face the problems, they can turn into a crisis.  When the crisis is left unresolved, we have chaos all over our lives.  Life Coaching is about learning to live on the level of information and messages and our goal at LSS Harmony is to help you find solutions for your:

•  Life:  Set achievable goals and stick to them.
•  Weight: Overcome weight issues, create a healthy eating plan, and conquer irrational food cravings. 
•  Relationships: Create the relationships you want, transform the ones you don’t.
•  Loss: Heal from loss and gracefully rebuild your life.
• Clutter: Organize your space to eliminate clutter, chaos and stress.
• Social Life: Overcome social nervousness and practice new techniques in social settings.
•  Negativity: Overcome anger, fear, and worry by learning to transform limited thinking habits.

We also conduct three Corporate Programs:

• Professional Development Workshop: 90 minute training session
• Leadership Workshop: 3 hour training session
• Team Building Program: 3 hour training session, 6 private sessions, over a 1-week period
• {Please contact for more information}

What is the difference between therapy and life coaching?

The way I like to describe the difference between these two self-development approaches is that therapy helps you look back on your life and answers the question how did I get to where I am today.  While, life coaching has you look forward and answers the question, where do I want to go.  Both modalities are beneficial and have a very important place in people’s healing journeys. 

How do I know which approach is best for me?

If you are unclear with how to process what has happened in your past, feel out of touch with who you are, and feel you need to understand the root of your problems, Therapy may be a great start for you.   However, if you are highly functioning, willing and ready to work towards your goals, maybe even been through therapy and are now asking what’s next, you may be a great candidate for coaching.  The best part is that most coaches offer a complimentary first session, so you can both get a feel for each other and discover if you are a good fit to work together.

Why work with Sophie Skover?

Sophie Skover is an author, holistic life coach, and inspirational speaker, who is passionate about working with others to achieve more peace and harmony in their lives. Although she was not always this way, thirteen years ago she was depressed, suicidal, bulimic and seventy-five pounds overweight.  Her life was so down in the dumps, she didn't even want to live. Then, one day she discovered life coaching and began to change her life.  It was as if someone put the sparkle back into inner diamond and made her feel alive again.  She loves the work she does, and now sees it as her purpose and passion to help you re-discover your sparkle and lust for life! Sophie started her own company, LSS Harmony: Coaching & Consulting five years ago and is still going strong.  She encourages us to face our inner self and turn our obstacles into opportunities!

Contact LSS Harmony for your free phone session:

CALL US : 1-561-252-4800

E.            Sophie@lssharmony.com

w.           www.lssharmony.com

Blog.      http://lssharmony.blogspot.com/

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Book:    www.thecontinuousappetite.com

              Purchase on Amazon

Managing Stress: Part 4

A C C E P T A N C E

"When the student is ready the teacher will show up." This is a very common phrase spoken in the self-development field.  Most of the time in life, we are asked to become better versions of ourselves by growing.  Well, growing typically happens under difficult conditions.  That is why we can call our problems, growth opportunities.  When we come from this perspective we will have a different approach to the life storms and will no longer be in a state of stress, but rather a state of growth.   

Stress is a natural response but after a certain point, if you do not know how to turn it off, it can cause major damage to your health, mood, productivity, relationships and quality of life.  This point is different for everyone, so the forth step we will take on this journey is to begin to accept (rather than fight) life.  

Begin to ACCEPT the outcome by following these tips: 

Stay detached from the outcome

• Learn to detach from the outcome by recognizing that reality is the winner.  If you have an idea and then reality is different, change your idea and you will end suffering.
• Remember the only thing you can change is yourself.
• If someone is stressing you out, change your response to them. 

Look for the upside to: life, situations, and people.

• When facing major challenges try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth instead of things that are trying to bring you down.
• Share yourself with those around you, be yourself and open up to life! 

Learn to forgive

• We live in an imperfect world and people make mistakes, but if we take the approach that every mistake is a growth opportunity, we can become better! (I can't emphasize this point enough!) 
• Forgiveness unlocks your heart.  Learn to take a deep breath and relax the space around your heart when you think about those you need to forgive and release. 

That is it.  The four steps to de-stressing: awareness, acting, adapting, and accepting   If at any time you feel you cannot deal with the conditions of your life, reach out to a life coach, a therapist or a counselor to get some help.  Your fears seem so much bigger on the inside that they are, help is out there, look into it, it may be more affordable than you think. 

Managing Stress: Part 3

A D A P T

Life offers us many opportunities to grow, if we chose to look at it that way.  The storms of life will always come and being prepared on how to handle yourself when these storms hit will be the difference between being stressed out, or being mindful and aware of how to respond.  

When disturbing things in life that happen that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way, it is called stress.  The next step in this process is not to react, but instead adapt.  

Begin to ADAPT to the Flow of life by following these tips: 

See the Big Picture 

• Ask yourself: “Will this matter in a year?” 
• If the answer is no, it is not worth your time, attention or focus in this moment. 
• If the answer is Yes, get out your journal and deal with what you are feeling.  

Look at what you value 

• If you have currently been under a lot of pressure or tension, take a look at what you are valuing and focusing on. 
• For example: working too many hours could mean you value being seen as a hard worker. 
• Other areas to look at: money, time, relaxation, health, sleep, tv, etc.  

Focus on the Positive 

• Practice looking at all you have in your life.
• Make a Gratitude list of 5 new things you are grateful everyday, non-repeating!
• Notice your positive qualities and gifts, and then share them with those around you.  

My hope for you is that you are beginning to stay calm in the storm, are practicing dealing with your real feelings, and are choosing to be relaxed and balanced!  Next week we will learn how to accept!

Mental Awareness

What we think about is reflected through our words.  Kahlil put such an eloquent flow to this idea, by saying that the words we use show us what we think about, which can then help us get in touch with our beliefs, which are deeper within, that create our perspective on life. 

 Becoming more mentally aware will help you create the life you desire to live.  You can begin listening to your vocabulary, the language you use and expressions you say, to get in tune with what it is that you are spending your energy thinking about, consciously and /or unconsciously.

Words to listen for:

 1.  Should.  Whenever we use the word “should” you are unconsciously putting yourself in a powerless position which requires defense.  Instead, try substituting in “could”.  This will give you your power back and show you all the possibility and action you can take in your life. 

2.  “I don’t want…” When I ask people what it is that they want, 8 out of 10 people will respond with, “well, I don’t want to be stressed” or (fill in the blank).  However, I didn’t ask them what they do “not” want, I asked them what they “do” want.  So instead of “not” wanting to be something, start to ask yourself what is it that you “do” want.  An easy way to do this is begin noticing all that you don’t want and then look for the opposite.  The best thing to start with is simply noticing how much you talk about what you don’t want, and then changing the sentence to reflect the contrary to the “not”.

 3.  Too Difficult.  Problem.  These words are from the perspective of defeat.  Exit the defeat and enter the challenge.  Anytime you see something as a “problem” or “too difficult” try replacing it with “growth opportunity” or “challenge”.  This puts you in a power position to become ready to grow into the challenge and become a better you.  Start with replacing these words and you will be well on your way to becoming more mentally aware!

Mental awareness is a process of observation and experience that will result in an intellectual, wakefulness and mindfulness.  Practice these first three steps to begin to change the type of crumbs that are falling from your mind.  

Politeness. Manners. Elegance.

Politeness.  Manners.  Elegance.  These three words are great reminders of how to treat people.  The Office, a humorous sitcom has a character named Andy Bernard, a Cornell graduate with a unique personality, educates us on his politeness!   

This week’s quote of the week, shown above, was inspired by his character with a little lesson attached.   

Three steps to illustrate your Polite, Elegant and Well-Mannered Attitude.   

1.        Show Appreciation:  If someone goes out of their way for you, gives you a gift or a compliment, complete the cycle with appreciation.  This could be a thank you note, or simply saying “thank you, that is so nice of you to say.”  This completes the cycle of the kind gesture.

2.       Show Respect:  If you have been invited to an event, if is courteous and respectful to communicate and reply to the invitation.  RSVP is French for: “repondez, s’il vous plait,”  which means please reply! 

3.       Be Generous:  Reach out into other lives and do them  a favor.  Go out of your way to make someone’s day or help someone else achieve something they are working towards.  If this kind act comes your way, think outside of the box and find a way to return the noble act!

Live your best life and offer your greatest self to the world.  It is like perfume, you cannot pour it on someone else without getting a little on yourself!  Good day!

A Thought for Growth

Think about this:  “What you are looking for, is what is looking?  What does this mean to you?  Spend a moment and contemplate on this idea.

Are you looking for a relationship, money, success, etc.   Well St. Francis of Assisi said it the best. The thing you are looking for, is the authentic spirit, the wholeness that we came from.  Our human brain leads us to think that the outer things; money, relationships, health are the means to experience this inner harmony, but that is false.  The truth is that we have this extraordinary opportunity to get in touch with an essence that is already here and exists within you right now. 

The easiest way to break this down for yourself is to find and identify what it is you are looking for, the thing that your mind tells you everything would be better or ok if you just had this one thing.   Next, ask yourself what feeling is associated with this “thing.”  If the feeling is security or peace, you are now in touch with a deeper level of what you are looking for.  You may think that money brings security, but the truth is money brings more options, and has nothing to do with security.  If you want security, embrace yourself in security, research it, and know that the biggest security you can have is a spiritual  sanctuary.  This already exists within and has nothing to do with money.

I encourage you to look into your desires a little deeper this week.  Find out what it is your are really longing for and then remember it is already within.  

Releasing Yourself from the Past

"Life must be understood backwards.  However, it must be lived forward."  We can learn incredible lessons from the past, however the next step to successful living is to understand how to use that lesson or information to create a positive future.

When life wants your attention, you may find yourself in a painful situation. Pain is a great teacher and usually  helps you notice when something is out of place, but it is not the pain that is the lesson- it is the message behind it. So, if you have a life ache, follow this sequence to release yourself from the past so you can live in an empowered future!  

1.  Identify What Happened
     Look at the situation at hand and identify what just took place with as little emotion as possible.
2.  Ask Yourself: What is the message is behind this?
     Remember everything that happens is here to teach you something on a deeper level.  If the message is buried deep, the pain may be more intense- but it is just trying to get your attention.  Try to look underneath the pain and see what is there.
3.  Stop & Silently Allow an Inner Answer to Surface
     Go into the classroom of silence and allow your inner self to guide you to a powerful awareness.
4.  Honor the Answer 
     Trust what comes to you in this classroom of silence.  Whatever pops up IS the answer (even if is seems simple, weird, out of left field, etc.).
5.  Release the Pain & Replace with the New Awareness
     After the new awareness is captured in the classroom of silence, release it.  Literally clinch your fists and then let them go; seeing this as a physical way to release the past.  Once you open your fists, place this new found awareness inside and then....
6.  Practice this NEW Awareness
     All personal growth requires practice.  After you have had an awareness it is going to take practice to keep this new thought present.  If thoughts of the past resurface after you have gone through this process, go through steps 2-5 again!  and Practice, Practice, Practice!

Remember:  Pain is a messenger, trying to get your attention.  So stop, ask, learn and grow!

How to Find Peace

In our society, we have a very strong work ethic which is great in some ways, but has consequences in other areas. We work on average 40-60 hours per work, often going from one task to the next with anxiety. Our lives are filled up with activities, relationships, goals, aspirations and tasks, creating a busy, hectic and anxious environment to live in.  

Because of this busy culture we live in, people usually describe peace as a relaxing place to live but, associate it with laziness or place they can only go on Sunday. This is not true.  Peace can be motivating, inspiring and a healthier place to do all your activities, have relationships, accomplish goals and be successful!  All it takes is a little recognition and a five-minute-technique to get there.    

How to find Mental peace: 5 Minute Technique

1. Recognize Your State of Mind: stop and ask yourself if you are in a peaceful state of mind? If the answer is no, then you are ready to activate your peace.

2.  Breathe: Take 10 deep breaths, in through the nose on a four count and out through pursed lips on a four count, one breath equals one in and out cycle.  Imagine breathing in peace and exhaling all that you do not want.

3.  Visualize Peace:  close your eyes and develop an image of peace.  Hold that for one minute and then come back to the moment.  You can then use this visual anytime to activate peace.

4.  Value Peace:  see this peaceful state of mind as the point of your day and take it with you everywhere you go.  Ask it to walk in front of you and observe what happens.  Placing a value on a virtue like peace helps your mind understand its priority in thinking and will begin to release the ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) that take us away from our peace.

Practice this sequence throughout the day and notice what happens in you.  Peace can be the essence of your journey, if you let it!

www.lssharmony.com

Salt Water Therapy

Have you ever gone to the beach and felt like you just left some type of healing session? Or been stressed and had a great sweat promoting work out? Or maybe felt a little emotional and had a great cry!? Well these are all forms of salt water therapy and can make you feel so much better.

Go to the Beach:

The ocean in general is a healing natural place that can ignite physical and emotional healing. In need of some inner healing, go to the beach, feel the sand in your feet, the sun on your face and then go for a nice soak in the ocean. Release what is inside through some deep cleansing breaths and come into the moment!

Sweat it out:

Anything that brings your body into a a state of sweat means that you are producing endorphins, our body's natural pain killers. Get outside and walk or go for a run, find an exercise class or group, jump rope or do some jumping jacks. The point is to increase your heart rate until you are sweating, for at least 10-15 minutes.

CRY:

In American culture, crying is usually encouraged to be held in. Have you ever started crying and someone immediately says: "don't cry!" We, as a culture, need to begin to understand the healing power of crying and begin to encourage the tears to come. These tears are an emotional release that unleash the overspilling experience. So CRY and liberate yourself and you experience. Allow someone to cry with you and encourage them to release the inner emotion until it is all gone.

If you are ever in need of a quick stress release keep these three things in mind: sweat, tears and the ocean.

www.lssharmony.com

The Happiness Process

When asked what happiness is, most people describe it as a feeling that comes from things outside of themselves; "I'm happy when I am traveling, or on the weekend, or at a social outing." But the happiness that we have the opportunity to touch in this lifetime comes from within, and is the key to feeling good about life. Finding how you feel and experience happiness is the first step. Describe happiness in your own terms, what does it mean to you? Where do you feel it in your body? The answers to these questions will lead you in a positive direction. Identifying is a powerful step to getting in touch with who you are, what you think and how you relate to a paticular subject.

The next step to understanding your happiness is begining to do the things that help you activate this feeling. Happiness does not exist outside of you, but it can be activated by outer things to help you find where it exists within. After you begin to ignite this feeling, you can then keep it humming on the inside. Discover what activates this feeling or state of mind in you by inquiring about the following: what makes you feel happy, content, peaceful, fulfilled, and then, do those things!

The last step in this process is sharing this inner state with the outer world. There is so much pain and hurting in this world, but a drop of happiness from you can begin to elevate the darkness. Emerson says it beautifully, "Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." So in terms of this quote, by you begin happy in a moment and sharing it with another, you are affecting two people right then and there. This is a natural step to fidning a sense of purpose on a daily basis. Discover your happiness and share it with the world!

Classroom of Silence

Matthew Kelly, in the "Rhythm of Life", writes about the classroom of silence and how important it is for us to be able to sit with ourselves in silence. Silence is where peace emerges, visions become clear, and inner connections happen. This silence can be a form of prayer, meditation, inner focus or whatever word fits for you. The point is to stop and "be."

We spend our lives doing and having and when we enter the classroom of silence it allows us to stop and become. His suggestion is to sit in silence for an hour a day! If this seems like a little too much, start with five minutes and just sit in stillness. Your body may protest and tell you it needs to shift positions after about 30 seconds, or start to tell you to scratch that itch. This is only the body showing its habit of doing, and not being. If you can resist that itch or uncomfortable position, you will begin to find that inner peace that many spiritual leaders talk about!

Enter the classroom of silence today and discover that inner peace you have been longing for!